Friday, February 29, 2008

A new chapter

Today marked the end of a long road for me. Some of you may know that I took over my grandmother's estate in April 2007 after my mom went into MD Anderson. It would take too long and I'm too tired to chronicle all that has happened with the estate since that time last year and now, but it has been hard. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I wanted to quit, just give up, but God consistently said "No" there were lessons to be learned and I had to persevere. Today I closed on the sale of my grandmother's house. It was on the market for 357 looooooooong days. The house was a huge burden to say the least, and I was ready to get rid of it believe me!!! But today as I drove to the closing I cried. I cried because I miss my Nani, I miss sitting at her kitchen table and telling her all my secrets, I miss eating ice cream for dinner and miss trying on all the clothes she saved from the 40s, 50s & 60s...she had some serious style people!! I cried because it is the closing of a chapter in my life, and I'm tired of having to say goodbye to people and things that I love. But God tells us in Matthew to store up our treasure in heaven, and he also tells us in 2 Corinthians that what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal, not to set my sight on the here and now, but look forward to what he has prepared for us in eternity. If you read my older blog posts, you will see that this is a theme for me right now. I have had to say goodbye a lot in a short amount of time, but through this I know God is at work. He is more concerned with changing my heart than my circumstances. He is pushing me to change, and in order to do that he has lined up some circumstances that make me uncomfortable...like having to say goodbye. I know I can't hang onto the past and still be healthy, but I would certainly try. Thankfully he pushes me to change because I would never do it on my own. So here I go, I'm leaving behind a house, but keeping my memories. I'm moving on because that's what I have to do, it's just bittersweet sometimes.

Ok, I'm going to try not to be so depressing all the time. Please bear with me as I go through this season of grief!

Love you all!

Aby (no that's not a typo, but the only people who would get it are in heaven now!)

2 comments:

Robin said...

I'm SO glad it's finally over for you. I can't imagine all the mixed feelings that go along with it, but you are strong and know we have a faithful God that will never leave you. I love you and would LOVE to see you soon!! Okay, maybe after Moriah gets here. HA

Robbie Ree

Jovi said...

it is hard to say so many good byes! my gma sold her house 4 years ago and i still miss it. thankfully i still have her around!